Day 5: Lights

There is something about the lights this time of year which makes everything so warm and cozy. I love to sit in my living room with all the lights in the house off except the lights on my tree. It's so peaceful and warm. The warmth is not because the temperature changed, but because light does something to our hearts. It changes us.

Sister Okazaki explained this perfectly: "You know that people who live above a certain latitude experience very long winter nights and can become depressed and even suicidal, because something in our bodies requires whole spectrum light for a certain number of hours a day. Our spiritual requirement for light is just as desperate and as deep as our physical need for light. Jesus is the light of the world. We know that this world is a dark place sometimes, but we need not walk in darkness."

Jesus Christ is the light of the world. When he was born, the sign of his birth was 3 days of endless light. At his crucifixion, it was marked by 3 days of endless darkness, for the light of the world had been taken from this world.

There are qualities of light we don't even comprehend. We are taught the "light of Christ" is "divine energy, power, or influence that proceeds from God through Christ and gives life and light to all things. It is the law by which all things are governed in heaven and on earth". Light is so much more than brightness. It's truth, it's power. It comprehendeth all things because without it nothing can be seen. "And if your eye be single to my glory, your whole bodies shall be filled with light, and there shall be no darkness in you; and that body which is filled with light comprehendeth all things". When Christ comes again and reigns on the earth the sun will not be needed, for His everlasting light and glory will light this earth. "The sun shall be no more thy light by day; neither for brightness shall the moon give light unto thee: but the Lord shall be unto thee an everlasting light, and thy God thy glory. Thy sun shall no more go down; neither shall thy moon withdraw itself: for the Lord shall be thine everlasting light, and the days of thy mourning shall be ended."


This Christmas as we are surrounded by the beautiful warm lights, let us remember who is our light and life. If our lives are chased by darkness, let us run to Him who shines in darkness, and the darkness comprehended it not. In His holy name, Jesus Christ, Amen.

Day 4: Bells

"I Heard the bells on Christmas Day. Their old familiar carols play, And mild and sweet the words repeat of peace on earth, good will to men." 

You'll hear me say over and over how beautiful the symbols of Christmas can be when we understand their meaning and allow them to flood our hearts and minds with thoughts of Christ. The wonderful thing about bells is they can do it whether you understand their meaning or not. If you've never heard old church bells ringing, inviting all to come and learn of Christ, you should put it on your list of things to experience. There is a certain power bells carry in ringing out their message. 

In times before phones and other faster forms of communication, the church bells would act as a communication device. Someone was getting married? The bells invited you to the wedding. It was almost time for services? Just listen for the bells. During times of war, the bells on churches would act as warnings for communities to hide or flee if an attack was coming. 

During Christmas, bells are everywhere to remind us of the invitation Christ has offered us. To come unto Him. He calls out to come to service in His behalf. He invites us to the wedding feast, which contains the living water and bread of life. The bells symbolize His mission, His purpose here on earth. To free us from the chains of sin and enable us to return to live with Him in our Father's presence. 

"And in despair I bowed my head: 'there is no peace on earth', I said. 'For hate is strong and mocks the song, of peace on earth, good will to men'. Then pealed the bells more loud and deep: God is not dead, nor doth He sleep. The wrong shall fail, the right prevail, with peace on earth, good will to men."

I love the words of that song. God is not dead, He doth not sleep in His work to bring about our salvation. We will prevail in His service as we emulate the life He lived offering peace on earth and good will to men. As we hear the bells ring out this Christmas; in song, in decorations, and even from Santa's sleigh, let's remember the joyous news they bring. Christ was born in Bethlehem and He lived and died for us. Let their call awake in our souls a renewed desire to serve Him. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Day 3: Snowflakes

I love snowflakes. I've always been amazed at their beauty and intricate design. In studying for this post, my love for them grew even more. Snowflakes are absolutely amazing! I've included a short video here explaining how snowflakes are formed (it's less than two minutes). The snowflakes they show here are actual flakes forming. Take a look and you'll see what I mean about their beauty. 

Snowflakes as symbols are even more beautiful. They require an absolute perfect environment to form and crystallize. Just as we were created and formed in a perfect environment before being sent here to earth.  Studying the snowflake helps us remember the creation of this earth, our spirits, and our bodies. The six sided symmetry reminds us of the six days of creation. The intricate design helps us see the amazing attention to detail our Father in Heaven gives to even the tiniest of His creations. Creation physically and creation of who He is having us become. "And all things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator".

These pictures were taken by scientists under electron microscopes after snowflakes were already formed and fallen to earth. They are just a sample of the millions and billions of possible formations. Each one different, unique, each one coming to earth to serve a purpose.

Which brings me to my final symbol of the snowflake. Our Father in Heaven created us with the same beauty, intricacy and wonder as the snowflake. But He also gave us a purpose in coming here to earth. The snowflake knows it's purpose and it fulfills it, "For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater: So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it." Each of us knows we are here to prepare to meet God, but we also have personal promises and responsibilities given to us in the premortal world.

This Christmas when you see the magnificent snowfall which covers this earth in a blanket of white, just as the Savior will cover our sins with His purity, may we remember that we were beautifully created with a reason and purpose. We are divine sons and daughters of God who loves us. We are as unique and magnificent as the tiniest of snowflakes. May we begin to see that majesty in each other. In the name of our Creator, Jesus Christ, Amen.

Day 2: Oh Christmas Tree

Day two is all about the plants of Christmas: trees, holly, mistletoe, poinsettias, and wreaths. As we talk about the meaning of these symbols, keep in mind the colors of Christmas we discussed yesterday. This will help give another layer of meaning to these Christmas decorations.

Let's start with the mistletoe. First, a confession.. I had a hard time wanting to include the mistletoe in this list of symbols because at first glance it's just a pretty, semi-parasitic and poisonous plant. Not really the idea you want in your mind when speaking about symbols of Christ. However, as I researched more, I discovered the rich and beautiful symbolism and meaning behind this tiny Christmas plant.

The mistletoe cannot grow completely on it's own. It must attach itself to another plant (in most cases large trees) in order to sustain life. Because of this, many cultures believed mistletoe to be magical, because it could grow with no roots. It seemed to just be suspended miraculously on the side of the trees. While attached to the tree it was resistant to freezing, scorching, parasites, disease, etc. It was harvested and brought into homes as protection from evil spirits and sickness. Old Scandinavian warriors would not fight an enemy beneath mistletoe and so it became a symbol of peace and friendship as well. Boughs of mistletoe were hung over doorways to symbol that all were welcome in that home with goodwill and hospitality. This affection was offered at the door with a kiss under the mistletoe.

When we see mistletoe this Christmas season, let us remember that much like the mistletoe, we too must attach ourselves to another source to gain the life we want. Our source is the Savior, who offers life eternal. Never ending. He will never disconnect himself from us as long as we continue to attach ourselves to him. As we do, we take on the quality of that which we are attached to. We must become as the Savior is. We must offer peace and goodwill to all who enter our lives. As we attach ourselves to the Savior, we take His name upon us and His life source flows into and through us to bless our lives and those we come in contact with.

Next we have the Christmas wreath. Usually full of Christmas colors and Christmas plants, the wreath is full of symbolism. The shape of the wreath is the most powerful reminder in this symbol, as circles represent eternity with no beginning and no end. They call our minds to the eternal gift of life our Savior has offered to us. It also reminds us of His loving arms continually encircling those who have attached themselves to His life and His work.

"Yea, they were encircled about with everlasting darkness and destruction; but behold, he has brought them into his everlasting light, yea, into everlasting salvation; and they are encircled about with the matchless bounty of his love"

"And as they looked to behold they cast their eyes towards heaven, and they saw the heavens open, and they saw angels descending out of heaven as it were in the midst of fire; and they came down and encircled those little ones about, and they were encircled about with fire; and the angels did minister unto them."

The symbolism of the holly and its berries is one which again calls our minds to the agony our Savior experienced in our behalf. The sharp edges of the holly leaves remind us of the crown of thorns, the cruel whips and ultimately the pointed nails used to inflict pain on our gentle, loving Savior.

"And they stripped him, and put on him a scarlet robe. (Notice the red symbolism here). And when they had platted a crown of thorns, they put it upon his head, and a reed in his right hand: and they bowed the knee before him, and mocked him, saying, Hail, King of the Jews! And they spit upon him, and took the reed, and smote him on the head."

"For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent; But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I; Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—"

The beautiful poinsettia is simple in its symbolism. The red and the green remind us of the sacrifice offered on our behalf and the shape of the flower causes us to reflect on the star of Bethlehem. The first star which guided wise men to seek the baby born beneath that star. It was fixed and un-moving. Just as our Savior and Father in Heaven are fixed and un-moving. The Holy Ghost acts as our star of Bethlehem today. He stands as a beacon leading us to the path which will enable us to return to our Father in Heaven.

Last, but certainly not least, is the majestic Christmas tree. This is by far my favorite of the Christmas plants. The Christmas tree points our minds to heaven. The height lifts our eyes and hearts to Him who has devoted His efforts to bringing us home to His presence. As we decorate our trees and enjoy them throughout the season. We should allow ourselves to be reminded of 3 other trees which have been pivotal in the history of this world. First, the tree of knowledge of good and evil. The first opposition which brought about the fall enabling us to come here and be proven whether we would do whatsoever we were commanded to do. Second, the tree used to make the cross which raised our Savior up to the ridicule and condemnation of this world. A tree which ultimately overcame the affects of the first tree and opened the pathway to the final tree. The tree of life, which the fruit thereof represents the presence and love of God. All three of these trees form the pillars of the plan of salvation and happiness.

This Christmas, may we take time to allow these beautiful symbols to take our minds back to Christ. That we may remember all He has done for us. That we may give and receive in His name and as He would. In His name, Jesus Christ, Amen.

If you missed Day 1, check it out here: Day 1: The Colors of Christmas

Day 1: The Colors of Christmas

3 years ago I sat down and attempted to look at the Christmas season from a different perspective. I loved how that year felt. I loved the insights I was able to learn. I loved sharing those thoughts with all of you. So this year, I've decided to share them again. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did the second go-around.

I'm so excited to share this project with you. Not because I think I will write anything spectacular.. But because it's something that has been pressing on my heart for months. I have grown increasingly disappointed in the way our holidays are portrayed and celebrated. The world is working relentlessly to teach our children and families what Christmas, or any holiday, should "mean". My goal is to try and have one tiny voice fighting against the screaming of the world. One tiny voice proclaiming that Christmas was first, foremost and always to direct our thoughts and hearts to Christ. To the perfect baby wrapped in swaddling clothes and resting in a manger. To the majestic man teaching the eternal truths of heaven. To the submissive love demonstrated in the Garden of Gethsemane and on Calvary Hill. And finally, to the glorious resurrected Christ who is the reason for our hope. He is the "reason for the season".

Red and Green begin to spill into the stores and clothe our cities sometime after Halloween. But what do these colors represent? And ultimately, how can they direct our thoughts back to Christ during this season and throughout the year? 

Red: The color red represent the life force in all living creatures. It directs our thoughts to the atoning sacrifice our Savior made for us when He spilled His blood in Gethsemane and on Calvary. It reminds us of the stains of our sins, "Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool." It reminds us that our life is a gift from our Father in Heaven, the blood which sustains us was given freely that we could choose for ourselves the better part. It directs our thoughts to the glorious resurrection wherein all will be made alive through Christ our body and spirit never to be separated again. Red is one of the few colors that remains in nature during the winter. A reminder of the hope that even in the winters of our lives the salvation and exaltation offered to us through the Atonement remains alive and powerful. When Christ comes again He will be arrayed in Red, a symbol and reminder to us of the sins, the stains of our lives, His Atonement covers for us and the eternal life He offers us. 

"And the Lord shall be red in his apparel, and his garments like him that treadeth in the wine-vat. And so great shall be the glory of his presence that the sun shall hide his face in shame, and the moon shall withhold its light, and the stars shall be hurled from their places. And his voice shall be heard: I have trodden the wine-press alone, and have brought judgment upon all people; and none were with me."

Green: Just like the color red, the color green represents life force as well. This time the life represented is in nature. When grass and trees and vegetation is lush and green it testifies of the strength of life in that plant. It is used symbolically in the scriptures too, "He maketh me to lie down in green pastures". Representing a safe, life-giving place of rest.

In the song "Joy to the World" we learn how the earth rejoiced at the coming of the Savior as well. Listen to some of the lyrics:

"Let earth receive her King", "And heaven and nature sing", "While fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains, repeat the sounding joy", 

"Nor thorns infest the ground. He comes to make His blessings flow, far as the curse is found."

In Genesis we learn that God cursed the earth for Adam and Eve's sake. So they could have the experience of work and labor for their growth and development. But the Articles of Faith teach us that the earth will be renewed just as our bodies will be renewed:

"We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent; that Christ will reign personally upon the earth; and, that the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory."

Just as we rejoice at the atoning sacrifice of our Savior, the earth too rejoices to know one day it will be cursed no longer. Green in nature gives the hope to the world (literally) that at the second coming of the Savior it too will be caught up in the glory of the resurrection, never to experience death or corruption again.

As we see red and green this Christmas season, whether in nature, or in our Christmas decorations, let our minds reflect on the glorious resurrection and the atoning sacrifice which enables us to be renewed and receive our paradisiacal glory. And on that day when the Savior comes adorned in red, our minds will be conditioned to express humility and gratitude for the divine gift He provided in taking the stains of our sin upon Him. In the name of Him who trod the wine-press alone, Jesus Christ, Amen.

What Manner of Men?

Truly our Savior has given us the perfect example to follow, an example of love, kindness, courage and deep abiding trust in our Father in Heaven.  When he appeared following His resurrection to those on the American continent, His first declaration was one of glory and submission to His Father, “Behold, I am Jesus Christ, whom the prophets testified shall come into the world. And behold, I am the light and the life of the world; and I have drunk out of that bitter cup which the Father hath given me, and have glorified the Father in taking upon me the sins of the world, in the which I have suffered the will of the Father in all things from the beginning.”

Of all the doctrines, of all the principles He could have born testimony of, He chose to witness of His identity and the completion of the atoning sacrifice He had performed on behalf of all mankind, and to bear testimony of His perfect obedience to the will of the Father, in ALL things. Elder Scott, stated, 

“Your personal testimony of the Atonement of Jesus Christ is a powerful tool… To be effective and to do as Christ has done, concentrate on this basic principle of the gospel: the Atonement of Jesus Christ makes possible our becoming more like our Father in Heaven so that we can live together eternally in our family units.”  

My first question would be, how is this done, how does the Atonement make us more like our Father in Heaven? The Savior showed us the way in His conclusion of that statement, 

“I have suffered the will of the Father in all things from the beginning.”

Can we say this about our lives? Have we suffered the will of the Father in ALL things? I know the answer for me is no. I know that I have fallen short of this example many times. Elder Scott also said, 

“God’s purpose is ‘to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.’ That is fundamental to all we do. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in things that we find fascinating or become so consumed by mundane responsibilities that we lose sight of God’s objectives."

 As we partake of the sacrament, we renewed the promise that we are willing to take the Savior’s name upon us. In doing that, we are witnessing that we are His, that we are “ONE” with him. In the scriptures to be “one” means to be of one mind, and heart and purpose, if that is true of us, if we are one with the Savior, then we too would always be found “about our Father’s business”. We would strive to “glorify the Father in all things”. We would honor our baptismal covenants with the same zeal and perfection as the Savior honored His. To mourn with those who mourn to comfort those who stand in need of comfort, to take His name upon us and to be about His business. If we are found about our Father’s business by taking the name of the Savior upon us, we would be working tirelessly to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of each other.

How do we do this? Right now our bank accounts already overdrawn. We are in the negative. We are imperfect. We have already been found as unprofitable servants. We have all failed to perfectly live up to the covenants we’ve made. And yet the invitation is still extended “come unto me, follow my example, be ye even as I am”. As Elder Scott said, it is “the Atonement of Jesus Christ which makes possible our becoming more like our Father in Heaven”. 

The scriptures are full to overflowing of examples and explanations of the Atonement. All the Prophets before Christ came and every one since have born witness and testimony of His infinite Atoning sacrifice. Amulek teaches: 

“ And thus he shall bring salvation to all those who shall believe on his name; this being the intent of this last sacrifice, to bring about the bowels of mercy, which overpowereth justice, and bringeth about means unto men that they may have faith unto repentance. And thus mercy can satisfy the demands of justice, and encircles them in the arms of safety, while he that exercises no faith unto repentance is exposed to the whole law of the demands of justice; therefore only unto him that has faith unto repentance is brought about the great and eternal plan of redemption.”

The Apostle Paul writing to the Corinthians taught, 

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things are become new. And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation; For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.”

Do we understand what these scriptures are saying? Do we understand the promises that are being given? Do we really understand what has happened here? I wish I could help you all feel the importance of these truths and what they would mean for your life if you could understand them. I hope you’ll excuse the analogy, but it was the first thing that came to my mind.

It is as if we are all in a bull fight. The law of justice is the bull and we are all stained red from our sins and our transgressions. That bull, the law of justice, has us in his sights and he is charging, full speed ahead to take what justice demands. Payment and penalty for laws broken. In the scripture from Paul, we are taught that Christ actually became sin for us if we apply the Atonement in our lives. He took the red stains upon himself so that the full blow of that charging bull landed completely on Him. And we, we were made clean and white through his Atonement, rendering us invisible to that bull. Invisible to the law of justice.

Let's explore this a little more. When we sin, the law of justice demands payment for the law broken, Amulek teaches us that through the sacrifice of the Savior, the law of mercy was able to be in effect. But the law of justice cannot be ignored. The Savior’s sacrifice provided the payment necessary to justice, for the scriptures teach, 

“What, do ye suppose that mercy can rob justice? 

I say unto you, Nay; not one whit. If so, God would cease to be God”. 

The law of Justice had to be satisfied, and through the Savior’s perfect and infinite sacrifice he made that payment on our behalf and allowed mercy to claim us if we exercise faith unto repentance. If we don’t, it is as if no redemption were made. 

“He that exercises no faith unto repentance is exposed to the whole law of the demands of justice.”  

In the teachings of Paul, we see that this is done through our baptismal covenants, taking His name upon us or as Paul wrote “if any man be IN Christ, he is a new creature.”  When we take the yoke of the Savior upon us we become one with Him. Our weaknesses and shortcomings are made whole through the merits of our perfect Savior and the infinite power of the Atonement. He took upon Himself our punishments so that “we might be made the righteousness of God in him.”

What a marvelous blessing! We are taught that when we repent the Lord remembers our sins no more and it’s as if it never happened. That is because, once we have repented, the sins are no longer ours. Think of it this way. In school when grades are handed out, we can only keep a 4.0 as we score perfectly in all our classes. If we ever get an A-, even one, we will never again be able to have a 4.0 again, we will always be imperfect. So if our sins remained ours or counted against us, if all of our blemishes were not truly washed clean and white through the blood of the Atonement, we would never be able to return to live with our Father in Heaven again for no unclean thing can dwell in the presence of God.

I wanted to focus on the infinite power of the Atonement in order to give us the confidence we need in standing up as examples of the Savior. He has asked us to take the light He has given us and let it shine forth unto the world. We are a light on a hill. No matter what kind of example we are, good or bad; we are reflecting His name by our membership in His church. A city or a people set on a hill cannot be hid, no matter what kind of light is shining forth. In order to be the examples He needs us to be, we have to first get our lives and testimonies on a strong foundation. 

Recently, as I sat in the temple, I reflected on the creation of this magnificent earth. We know that the sun, moon and stars were placed in the heavens by our creator to give light unto the world. I remembered visiting Bryce Canyon a few years ago and reading a sign in the visitor’s center which explained that the sky in Bryce Canyon was one of the few places left on earth not affected by “light pollution”. Light pollution is caused by man-made light here on earth which makes it impossible to see the stars and, in some cases, the moon. It made me sad to think that the light created by the world was covering our ability to see the unwavering light sent to us by a loving eternal Father in Heaven. What light are we following? What light is filling our eyes?  Where do we look for our examples, the light given by the world, or the eternal, unwavering, unchanging light from the heavens?

I imagine when we stand before our judgment bar, we will be asked for a similar report as the Savior gave when He appeared on this continent. Who were we? What fruits did we bring forth? And did we submit to the will of the Father and glorify His name in all things? We can know of a surety that we are about our Father’s business when we do whatsoever thing we’ve been taught the Savior did. Elder Scott said, “We best serve our Father in Heaven by righteously influencing others and serving them. The greatest example who ever walked the earth is our Savior, Jesus Christ. His mortal ministry was filled with teaching, serving, and loving others. He sat down with individuals who were judged to be unworthy of His companionship. He loved each of them. He discerned their needs and taught them His gospel. He invites us to follow His perfect example.”

I testify as we first, in faith, apply the Atonement to our lives, we will be in the best position to stand as examples, filled with the light from heaven, and invite all mankind to come unto Christ and be washed clean through the blood of His sacrifice. In the name of Him who makes us clean, Jesus Christ, Amen.

All my love, Taryn 

My Second Yes

Last year I wrote and gave a talk on grieving for the life you planned for yourself (read it here). I thought I was well enough acquainted with grief to remember that it comes in cycles and creeps back into our hearts when we least expect it.

The last few months have been filled with some devastating difficulty. Drifting apart from friends I never thought I would lose, watching other family and friends struggle with heavy challenges and sickness and then last month receiving news that my health is still far away from where I would like it to be. I didn't realize how these things were slowly chipping away and the surety I had in how my Savior and Heavenly Father feel about me. 

My breaking moment came sitting in the doctors office last month, detailing the excruciating pain I was experiencing, the lack of energy and the disappointment in my body which was still not performing properly. I was frustrated to be dependent on bio-identical hormones, supplements and time consuming every-day tasks just to keep me from ending up in the hospital every few weeks and frustrated that even with all the work I was putting in, it was only just barely keeping me afloat. Even today as I write this, I'm missing yet another day of work because my body is at war with itself.  I broke down and cried, "It's like God doesn't even care what happens to me!"

It's interesting the way the adversary perfectly plans these attacks on our faith. I'm not very good at making friends. I'm too shy and too introverted and I have a hard time trusting that others really want to even be my friend. I was already feeling so worthless and down because of the distance between me and my close friends and then when my health took a turn for the worst, it broke me. I have worked so hard to know the character of my Father in Heaven and His goodness and love that the adversary couldn't say anything bad about Him to me. So instead he attacked me with who I am to my Father in Heaven. I had made too many mistakes in life for Him to want to bless me. I wasn't trusted enough to bring one of His children into this world. My life and my dreams and my wants and desires didn't matter to Him, I'd lost my chance at happiness. My husband deserved someone better. If He would have married someone else he would have the chance to be a father. Over and over and over these and similar thoughts rolled through my head pulling me deeper into darkness and further from the peace of the Spirit. 

The hardest part was that I did everything right during this time. I prayed, I cried, I fasted, I went to the temple, I took the sacrament, I read my scriptures, I tried to help others, I asked for blessings, I worked and tried not to let myself slip into depression. Peace completely eluded me and solidified the negative voices in me saying that Heavenly Father didn't care about me and I was worthless. Depression, despondency, discouragement and despair have been my constant companions. 

I want to share two experiences which spurred me to write this post today. First, my beautiful, wonderful Muslim angel Zainab. This incredible woman is old enough to be my mom, and yet she feels more like a sister to me. A kindred spirit. The day I broke down at the doctor's office I happened to run into her at my work. She could tell something wasn't right and when I told her I received bad news about my health she started to cry with me. We don't know each other outside of running into each other at my office. We've talked occasionally about her religion of Muslim, my religion of LDS and the shared lineage of Abraham's sons we both come from. We've said before that even though the world sees us as different, the Father's of our faiths make us sisters. She hugged me and kissed both my cheeks and told me to remember "insha'Allah" which is Arabic for "God willing or we are in God's hands". I know from our conversations that this statement is the ultimate expression of faith for her. She told me her story of escaping from her country with just the clothes their backs. Making it to America by God's grace. She concluded by saying again "insha'Allah", "my life is in God's hands." Two days later she brought me a gift. It was a small silver bowl, similar by slightly different from the one pictured above. This was found in her former home and secretly sent to her by family members back in her country. It was a family treasure. Inscribed on the inside were expressions of faith from the scriptures she loves. She explained this bowl was an expression of faith, that each day I was to fill it with water and drink it in faith that "God would fill me with His will and design for me." To be honest, I didn't know if I would do it. However, not wanting to offend my friend or this gift she had given me, I decided that each day I drank the water I would offer up a prayer of gratitude for my friend and the ray of light she has been in my life even with such different backgrounds. It helps me remember each day that there is good.

The second experience was solidified this morning. Over the last few weeks as I've struggled, different thoughts and teachings would come to my mind. I grasped on to these and tried to use them as a life preserver, but each time, the depression would swallow me again and I would lose sight of the truth. This morning a quote from a book I read a long time ago was brought to my mind. 

"If affliction calls into question our friendship with God, then affliction is an opportunity to answer that question with faith. It is easy to say 'yes' to discipleship in well-lit chapels and in good health. But, as in getting married, the first yes launches a long relationship filled with opportunities to say yes again. We repeatedly confirm our loyalty until there can be no question. The second yes, confirming the first, is not usually spoken in words. But however spoken, the demanding language of loyalty makes clear what and whom we love."

The spirit whispered through the darkness, this was my time. This was my chance to challenge the lies of the adversary with my loyal discipleship. It was my time to say yes again to my covenants, to my faith, and to my Father in Heaven. No, this yes was certainly not spoken in a well-lit, spirit filled chapel. It was ripped from my heart with gut-wrenching cries. It was pulled from my soul with all the agony hell could send. It was whispered in the dark when I couldn't see the light anymore and I couldn't feel the sweet assurance that He was there. But the eternal part in me cries YES! Yes, I will continue to fight the adversary. For truly when I am weak, my God is able to show forth His mighty strength. Yes, I will trust in the promises He has given that one day there will be no more tears and all losses will be compensated for. Yes, I will fight this world, for I am not of this world. I am of the eternities. 

Throughout the scriptures, righteous men and women have followed their first yes with many many more. Moses said yes in the light of the burning bush, but echoed that yes through the 40 years in the wilderness. Samuel's mother said yes in the light of the temple when she covenanted that her son would be given to the Lord if she could just bring him to this world and she echoed that yes when she turned her little boy over to be raised by the priest Eli. But above all, our Savior's first yes was spoken in the light of heaven, "here am I, send me", and never has a second yes echoed as loudly as His when he cried, "nevertheless, not my will, but thine" in the Garden of Gethsemane. 

Nothing about my circumstance or situation changed. And I don't know if it will. But I do know I can change. I refuse to give place any more to the "enemy of my soul". I will not let him tempt me to say no any longer.

"God accepts the early yes, the one that gets things started. But the latter yes, uttered in discomfort, is the convincing one. Our second yes and the ones that follow will stand forever as monuments to our lives. Perhaps they are the only things we came here to say."

God is good. He is kind and loving and He delights to bless those who serve Him. Trust Him, for He is trustworthy. Love Him, for He is love. Honor Him for He is honorable. Above all cry to Him, for He is your Father and we are all "insha'Allah" in God's hands. 

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

All my love, Taryn