Desire

Let me start out today by asking the question.  What do you desire more than anything else for your life? 

I've been thinking about desire a lot this past week.  In this last conference Elder Dallin H. Oaks gave a talk called Desire.  If you have time, I would recommend reading or re-reading his talk.  He says what I've been thinking much better than I ever could.

He starts out by telling us that "desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions.  The desires we act on determine our changing, our achieving, and our becoming."  We all know the importance of having righteous desires.  I'm sure the desires you thought of at the beginning of this post were and are righteous desires.  So let me pose another question.  What do you do if your greatest desire is withheld from you?  Is your faith shaken?  Is your pathway unsure? 

I desire to be a Mother.  I've desired this since I was a little girl.  At this time in my life, that desire is being withheld from me.  I've struggled and prayed and fasted and cried more times than I could possibly remember to have this trial taken away from me.  I know wanting to be a Mother is a righteous desire.  But recently I found myself having thoughts that resembled these statements.  "If I do really well in my calling, the Lord will bless me with children." "If I am obedient to the commandments, the Lord will take my infertility away." Do these types of thoughts sound familiar to anyone?  I had to ask myself some tough questions.  Was I serving the Lord because I expected blessings to come, or was I serving the Lord because it was the greatest desire of my heart? 

Although being a Mother is a righteous and good desire, it can become a vice if I let that desire, or the lack of fulfillment of that desire, get in the way of my dedication and service to my Heavenly Father.  In the Garden of Gethsemane, the Lord desired, "If it be possible, let this cup pass from me".  But our Savior desired the will of His Father in Heaven above His own desires and He immediately stated, "nevertheless, not as I will, but as thou wilt." (Matthew 26:39)

Our Savior is the perfect example to us in all things, including where we should place our priorities.  If we truly want to return to live with our Father in Heaven again, our will must be swallowed up in His will. 

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said:

"We must be willing to place all that we have--not just our possessions (they may be the easiest things of all to give up), but also our ambition and pride and stubbornness and vanity--we must place it all on the altar' of God, kneel there in silent submission, and willingly walk away." 

The Savior said, "He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." (Matthew 10:37)  This also applies to wanting bigger houses, nicer cars, better clothes, more time for ourselves, higher education, wanting children, financial freedom and on and on.  Any good endeavor can become a tool of the adversary if we want it more than we want to seek and do the will of our Heavenly Father. 

As our desires turn towards serving the Lord, we will, as Elder Oaks said, "become" closer to the children of God we want to be.  My hope is that we will all be able to say, "my greatest desire is to serve the Lord." Period, no ifs ands or buts.  I know as we are willing to sacrifice our hopes and desires for what the Lord desires for us we will be blessed with joy and peace beyond what we are able to comprehend.  I know the Savior lives, He is our advocate with the Father and He wants us to return to live with them again.  He has gone to prepare a place for us with our Father in Heaven.  That we may all be worthy of that place is my prayer and desire.  In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.