Smile, Darn You, Smile

If I asked you to define happiness what would your answer look like? Take a minute to think about it.

As I was reading and researching for this blog I was overwhelmed by the volumes of opinions and ideas about happiness. No wonder it seems impossible to define, understand and obtain at times. I came across a quote that said, "The absence of sadness is not happiness". It really stuck out to me and I began to wonder if I really understood what happiness was. I started looking through the scriptures and talks to help me understand better. Let me start by sharing a few things I found.

Elder Holland quoted this verse in one of my favorite talks, "The Will of the Father In All Things":

"If you can smile when things go wrong

And say it doesn't matter,

If you can laugh off cares and woe

And trouble makes you fatter,

If you can keep a cheerful face

When all around are blue,

Then have your head examined, bud,

There's something wrong with you.

For one thing I've arrived at:

There are no ands and buts,

A guy that's grinning all the time

Must be completely nuts."

And this from President Uchtdorf:

"We know that sometimes it can be difficult to keep our heads above water. 

 In fact, in our world of change, challenges, and checklists, sometimes it can seem nearly impossible to avoid feeling overwhelmed by emotions of suffering and sorrow.

I am not suggesting that we can simply flip a switch and stop the negative feelings that distress us. 

This isn’t a pep talk or an attempt to encourage those sinking in quicksand to imagine instead they are relaxing on a beach. I recognize that in all of our lives there are real concerns. I know there are hearts here today that harbor deep sorrows. Others wrestle with fears that trouble the soul. For some, loneliness is their secret trial.

These things are not insignificant."

And a few examples from the scriptures. First the Prophet Elijah:

"He himself went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die;

and said, It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers."

The Prophet Moses:

"Wherefore hast thou afflicted thy servant? and wherefore have I not found favour in they sight, that thou layest the burden of all this people upon me? .... I am not able to bear all this people alone, because it is too heavy for me. And if thou deal thus with me, kill me, I pray thee, out of hand if I have found favour in thy sight; and let me not see my wretchedness."

The Apostle Paul:

"For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant of our trouble which came to us in Asia, that we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life:"

And our Savior:

 "Then saith he unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: 

tarry ye here, and watch with me. 

And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, 

O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: 

nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt."

"And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthathi? 

that is to say, My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me?"

We could easily keep going all the way through the scriptures and modern talks and experiences. Overwhelmingly I found that some of Heavenly Father's most faithful servants were pushed to the very limit and then asked to keep going and, from my perspective, seemed pretty unhappy.

Over the last few weeks I've come to understand that being happy and having joy does not mean that we won't struggle or cry or feel like our hearts are broken. In fact, those things are absolutely necessary in order that we can be happy. It is a gift from our Father in Heaven to have the opportunity to experience adversity.

"For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things.."

It is through our experience of trial and sorrow that we can fully understand what happiness is. Happiness is being in good standing with our Father in Heaven. Not seeking for the worlds approval. It is exercising our moral agency to follow His commandments. Not bending to what the world is accepting or even at times the way we think things should be. It is submitting our will in all things to Him. Happiness is knowing that we have help in times of trouble and sorrow. Not believing we will be happy when times of trouble and sorrow are past:

It is having faith in the Atonement of our Savior. Knowing it will be Him who will succor us and wipe away our tears. It is having the Holy Ghost as our constant companion.  Can we really expect our lives to be worry and sorrow free when our Savior, who was our perfect example, was not spared the suffering of this world?

The opposite of happiness is not sadness. It is discouragement, despair and damnation. It is losing the companionship of the Holy Ghost. It comes from the fear the adversary will bring into our lives.

In the examples I gave earlier about sorrow and trial in the lives of the Savior, the Prophets and Apostles, one thing that stood out to me was they knew where to turn. Happiness comes when we are crying out with broken hearts to the master healer. Happiness comes when we stumble with our burdens at the feet of Him whose strength will never fail us. Happiness comes when we feel forsaken and forgotten and still cry out in faith to our Father in Heaven because we are sure He is there. 

In closing, please don't allow discouragement and despair to come into your lives with the tears and heartbreak we will all inevitably experience. 

 

 

“And one of the elders answered, saying unto me, what are these which are arrayed in white robes? And whence came they?

And I said unto him… These are they which came out of great tribulation, and have washed their robes, and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.

Therefore they are before the throne of god, and serve Him day and night in His temple: and He that sitteth on the throne shall dwell among them.

They shall hunger no more, neither thirst any more, neither shall the sun light on them nor any heat.

For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters: and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes.”

 

Happiness is what our Father in Heaven wishes for us and He will help each of us know how to fully find it in our lives as we come to Him and ask for that direction. There will come a day with no more sorrow and no more tears. But that day will come because we have waded through and endured well through this life of sorrow and tears. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

 

All my love, 

~Taryn