Approximately eleven years ago, my older brother took his oldest daughter to get her immunization shots. Upon entering the doctor's office, my brother held his daughter while the doctor and nurse administered the shots. My brother later told me, with tears in his eyes, that it was one of the most difficult things he had to do. As they held her down she lay there screaming and crying - looking into her fathers eyes, too young to speak, but screaming out in effect, "How could you let them do this to me daddy? I'm scared!! This hurts!! I thought I could trust you!! I thought you would always protect me!! Why are you allowing this to happen?!"
At that time, my sweet little niece did not understand the importance of those immunization shots. She didn't realize these shots were given to protect her, to ultimately make her body stronger and immune to infection, sickness and disease. She couldn't understand it, but my brother, her father could. As difficult as it was for him to see his daughter in that state, he knew he couldn't jump in to stop it. As much as he knew she wanted him to, he couldn't do it. The greater understanding he had by not stepping in, was an act of love. One that she would, with time, come to understand for herself. She is now 12 years old. I'm sure if we explained immunization shots to her, she would be able to grasp the concept much better now than she could then. Even still, her understanding is not as great as it will be in 10-15 more years.
In times of trouble and refining it would serve us well to remember this story. We are the child and God is our loving Father. Stepping in, at times, would be more hurtful to us than helpful. In his talk entitled, "The Will of the Father in All Things" Elder Jeffrey R. Holland says in reference to Nephi saying I will go and do the things which the Lord has commanded, "I confess I wince a little when I hear that scripture quoted so casually among us..." Why is it that Elder Holland would say that? In that scripture Nephi promises that he will go and do whatever the Lord commands him to do. He is promising complete submission to our Heavenly Father's will. Where does that promise take him? Recall in your mind the story of Nephi and his brethren returning to Jerusalem the first time. Upon arriving, they had their plans all ready to go. They had a plan "A" and just in case that fell through, a plan "B". Plan "A", which was simply asking Laban for the brass plates didn't pan out the way they had hoped. So they went to plan B. They offered all of their earthly possessions in exchange for the plates. Not only did Laban say no, he had his men run Nephi and his brethren out of town, threatened their lives and kept all their possessions anyway. Nephi and his brethren hid in the cavity of a rock to escape from Laban's men.
How many times does this happen in our lives? We develop a plan - maybe it's the perfect plan of how our lives will be lived - you know, I get baptized, follow all the commandments perfectly, advance in the church, serve a mission, get married in the temple, have kids and a great marriage, have grand kids, grow old and enter into the presence of my Heavenly Father when I die. But what happens when our perfect plan for ourselves falls through? Do we, like Laman and Lemuel lose hope? Do we start to lose faith and trust in our God? Do we, like Laman and Lemuel get bitter, angry, hopeless and resentful? Because their plans didn't pan out the way they had hoped, they got angry with their father. They said he was a crazy, visionary man. They even attempted to kill both Nephi and Sam. They stopped trusting god.
At this point in the story, Nephi returns to Jerusalem alone to find Laban passed out and drunk. The record then states that Nephi was "constrained by the Spirit to kill Laban". Now stop and ponder on that one for a moment - an angel didn't appear to him here. The prompting he received was to take Laban's life! It's no wonder he shrunk 3 times before doing it. I'm not sure all that went through his head that this point, but I'll tell you what would go through mine. I would have prayed something like, "Father, I'm wondering if this prompting was really from you. it doesn't make sense. I can't do this thing. I've been taught my whole life that this is wrong". After the second prompting I probably would have prayed, "Look Father, I know I said I would go and do whatever Thou commanded of me, but this is too much...". Finally after the third prompting he fully and truly submits to the Father's will.
Nephi did not put qualifiers on his covenants. He did as the Lord commanded him. Do we put qualifiers on our covenants? Do we say to ourselves, "I'm willing to commit and submit my will to the Father's.... up to the point I have someone offend me at church, up to the point I lose someone close to me to death or suicide, up to the point I get a divorce, up to the point I have a miscarriage, up to the point I find out I'm infertile, up to the point I find out one of my children is sick, up to the point I mess up one more time and give in to temptation."
Nephi said, "I will go and do..." Christ said, "Here am I Father, send me". Both statements of submission to the Father's will. Well, you and I have made that same covenant. We made it at baptism, we renew it weekly when we partake of the sacrament and we made it or will make it in the temple. Imagine what would have happened if Christ put qualifiers on His covenants? "Father, I'm willing to submit up to the point I get spit in my face, beat, mocked and laughed at, up to the point they force a crown of thorns on my head, up to the point they drive spikes through my hands and my wrists and my feet. Up to the point I have to take upon me the weight, heartache, mental and physical pain and anguish of all mankind, all the sins of Thy children, when I haven't done anything wrong". Christ didn't want to have to experience all the weight. "Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me!" He didn't want to partake of it. He knew how truly bitter it would be. But he said, "Nevertheless, not my will, but Thine be done!"
Is is any wonder Elder Holland says he winces when he hears that scripture quoted so casually among us? He understands what that statement means and where it could eventually take us. Elder Holland says,
“We must be willing to place all that we have--not just our possessions (they may be the easiest things of all to give up), but also our ambition and pride and stubbornness and vanity--we must place it all on the altar of God, kneel there in silent submission, and willingly walk away.” Can we do this? In his book "For Times of Trouble", Elder Holland says, "we can have anything we want... or something better." God's will for us, I testify, is that "something better."
I have said so many times before that our God is a refining God. In 3rd Nephi the Savior forbids certain teachings to be written on the plates saying, "I will try the faith of my people." Job was NEVER told the reason for all that he went through. The Lord is not always going to give us the answers to why. And to be honest, we don't need them, as much or as desperately as we sometimes want them. Sacrifice and submission have always been and will always be a part of the gospel covenant we take upon us. For as we are taught, "a religion that does not require the sacrifice of all things never has the power sufficient to produce the faith necessary unto life and salvation."
I would challenge each of us to take an evaluation of our lives and to ask ourselves where we stand in our willingness to submit to our Father. What is our limit? I testify that we should have none, for the Lord, our Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Christ put no limits or bounds on the sanctifying, enabling and saving power of the Atonement He so lovingly offers each of us.
I say these things in His name who has power to save, even Jesus Christ, Amen.
All my love, Taryn (and Dustin for letting me use some of his thoughts)
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